Back in July Writer's Digest (my hooker of choice) offered a special on a couple e-books. One of which was a book that offered a different writing prompt for every day of a full calendar year. I wanted to start immediately, but seeing as how the book began on January 1st I thought I'd wait until that time to begin. Especially since the prompts grew more difficult with each passing day.
Like most things I say "I'll remember this for later." I very nearly forgot. It wasn't until Writer's Digest sent me another dirty tease about that book which reminded me of it's existence on my computer. So, if all of my other resolutions fail I wish for this one to at least go. I think I can write everyday and post it on here. (Can't I?)
The first prompt of Year of Writing Prompts (by Brian A Klems and Zachary Petit) is very fitting for the first of January.
"January 1. Your Resolutions. What are your New Year's resoltuions? Take one and create a fictional story surrounding it."
Like countless thousands, I have made at least one resolution. Though being the lazy overachiever I am I have made a list of 6 different things I would like to accomplish in the new year. Whether I actually achieve them is an entirely different story. One of my favorite quotes is from the movie Forest Gump which perfectly sums up my feelings about resolutions and a new year. The scene is of Forest,Captain Dan, and the two hookery girls in a bar watching the ball drop in time square. One of them with big doughy eyes watches and says in a whisper "I love new years. Everybody gets a second chance." And if I am given a second chance I'm going to at least mildly attempt it with gusto.
My Resolutions:
1 - Finish my book.
2 - Get in shape. I'm 58 lbs overweight.
3 - Read at least 12 books.
4 - Get spiritually settled.
5 - Start a family.
6 - Pay off my credit cards.
Derek and Moira stood nervously in the exam room. Despite having told her numerous times to sit Moira had refused. So instead he wrapped his wife in his embrace. He pressed his cheek to hers and hum a tune of his own creation. It was one of the things she loved most about him. The gentle melody soothed her nerves and she could focus on more important things like fertility and being pregnant.
This was round number four in their battle with her failing uterus. In one of there attempts she thought she had a knock out but it came in with a sucker punch and knocked all the wind from her gut. The two had been devastated and spent nearly a year recuperating.
"Do you think she's taking so long because it's good news?" she asked. She kept her eyes shut and focused on her and him, blocking the rest of the world out. In her mind she and he stood in the vast expanse of the galaxy among stars and moons.
Derek stopped humming and hugged her tighter.
"It will be what it will be." he said.
Luckily her eyes were shut, and him not looking cause he would have been offended at her eye roll. It was the best he coud offer at such a time. He was just as clueless as her and she knew that.
They had prepared in the car before they dare enter the office. And prior to that they had spent all night talking it through. The final conclusion then was if this didn't work they would have to adopt. Derek had made such a beautiful altruistic case for it.
"There are so many other kids in this world desperate for a family. Why would we deny them a loving home?"
She had hated him for his sense of logic. Even a tiny bit jealous. She had always assumed he felt the same as her when it came to biological or not. How could they be close to one that wasn't made up of the two of them? It was an absolutely selfish thought. She knew that. But with all her knowledge she couldn't change the pressing fear and guilt weighing in her chest.
Please, God, she prayed for the billionth time.
With a click of the door the doctor swooped into the exam room. He instinctively looked at the table before looking around the door.
"Good afternoon," he said.
The two stepped from the other's embrace and stood, only inches apart, with their hands clasped together. Derek like the gentleman that he was offered his hand to the doctor. The white coat clad physician took it and gave it a firm shake. Already his confidence and cool demeanor had Moira hopeful. Of the times before she had known, before they had spoken a word, the crushing answer.
"So we got back the test and I have some bad news and some good news."
Moira's heart froze in her chest. Derek tightened his grip around her hand. They could do this, it said.
"You are definitely pregnant," he said then looked down.
"You know what, Dr. Stewart, You can stop there. Unless the bad news is that it would somehow harm my wife I don't think we should know. At this point, no matter how the baby is we will love it all the more. Because it's ours."
Moira looked at her husband, studying his square features and stubbled complexion.
"Okay." The doctor said.
Derek met his wife's gaze and smiled.
"Because it's ours," she said.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Thoughts On a Selfish Lie
Well, I have this webpage and pay a hefty fee to have it exist in the “inter-webs” I might as well put it to good use. My theory has been to primarily keep it to writing and my journey to establish it, yet I haven’t worked on my novel in some time. It’s primarily due to the fact that I’ve been busy with my two on-line college courses, but that’s beside the point. In reality it may be due to the fact that the chapter I stopped on was in ROUGH condition. It needs a total rehab. Full gut, full rehab. And I don’t have the “funds” for that right now. Which leads me to my point… I am a very opinionated, self-absorbed, person. Typically I reserve my rants for Facebook, but I don’t want to be “that guy,” you know? I rather use it for uplifting shit, whatever that may end up being. So thus, I am using my personal site as a platform to shout my insane opinions.
For my first entry in this “re-branding” (if you will) I wanted to make it something I am passionate about. And other than writing (and cupcakes) I am an out and proud gay man, that cares about my community; and whomever may be in that circle. I say that last part because I came across a wonderful article: How Straight Spouses Cope When Their Partners Come Out by Christine Grimaldi. You can read it here .
As a gay man, I have gone through the journey of discovery and acceptance every homosexual (sounds so clinical) person has experienced. Mine was just as rocky as any others (I went to Christian school from pre-k to 8th), but in comparison to others it was a cakewalk. I struggled to accept who I was, but once I met my first boyfriend I knew I was gay and I accepted it without further hesitation, which is weird. I realize it now that my parents inadvertently raised me to be a confident adult with my own opinions and views. True, my mother was devastated that I was gay and subsequently didn’t speak to me for two months after I came out for the second time (That’s a story for another time), but I couldn’t live a lie. Side note, my mother now introduces my husband as her son-in-law. The woman is miraculous and amazing. And like any good gay son I cherish her.
Like many before me, I attempted to date girls. My tally only got to two, but that was all I needed to know that girls are just not for me. I feel no real connection other than one of a friend and no sexual energy at all. So, my foray into the straight dating pool never left the dock. I sometimes wonder if I had never met my first boyfriend and surrounded myself with a supportive girl friend, if I would have continued to deny my sexuality. And I can’t help but feel that I would have at some point accepted it, but it would have been in secret, hiding behind a woman. Standing strong in who I am now I see that as the most selfish thing that a person could do. It’s denying the heterosexual person in the relationship a chance at true love and romance.
In my life, I’ve encountered a high number of married men looking to meet up for sexual liaisons with men. And all I can think is ‘how could you do that to someone?’ Forget living a lie and the guilt and shame involved, let us set that aside. The wife is set up for so much agony. Maybe the husband shows her little to no sexual interest, what does that do to her self-esteem? Will she ever be sexually fulfilled? What if she worries that her husband is having an affair? Or evene worse, what happens if she finds out? What happens when/if kids are involved? So much hurt building up in this lie. I am glad I never did that. The consequences are so dire that no one will leave unscathed.
The only way these situations are going to change is with acceptance. Once social stigma has been erased from being gay/lesbian can people be allowed to live as their authentic selves. I cannot help but feel that this world would be better without religion… It’s with these beliefs that people bend and twist themselves to fit some mold that no one will ever live up to. Let us not forget, the Ten Commandments state lying is a sin, but says nothing about being gay.
For my first entry in this “re-branding” (if you will) I wanted to make it something I am passionate about. And other than writing (and cupcakes) I am an out and proud gay man, that cares about my community; and whomever may be in that circle. I say that last part because I came across a wonderful article: How Straight Spouses Cope When Their Partners Come Out by Christine Grimaldi. You can read it here .
As a gay man, I have gone through the journey of discovery and acceptance every homosexual (sounds so clinical) person has experienced. Mine was just as rocky as any others (I went to Christian school from pre-k to 8th), but in comparison to others it was a cakewalk. I struggled to accept who I was, but once I met my first boyfriend I knew I was gay and I accepted it without further hesitation, which is weird. I realize it now that my parents inadvertently raised me to be a confident adult with my own opinions and views. True, my mother was devastated that I was gay and subsequently didn’t speak to me for two months after I came out for the second time (That’s a story for another time), but I couldn’t live a lie. Side note, my mother now introduces my husband as her son-in-law. The woman is miraculous and amazing. And like any good gay son I cherish her.
Like many before me, I attempted to date girls. My tally only got to two, but that was all I needed to know that girls are just not for me. I feel no real connection other than one of a friend and no sexual energy at all. So, my foray into the straight dating pool never left the dock. I sometimes wonder if I had never met my first boyfriend and surrounded myself with a supportive girl friend, if I would have continued to deny my sexuality. And I can’t help but feel that I would have at some point accepted it, but it would have been in secret, hiding behind a woman. Standing strong in who I am now I see that as the most selfish thing that a person could do. It’s denying the heterosexual person in the relationship a chance at true love and romance.
In my life, I’ve encountered a high number of married men looking to meet up for sexual liaisons with men. And all I can think is ‘how could you do that to someone?’ Forget living a lie and the guilt and shame involved, let us set that aside. The wife is set up for so much agony. Maybe the husband shows her little to no sexual interest, what does that do to her self-esteem? Will she ever be sexually fulfilled? What if she worries that her husband is having an affair? Or evene worse, what happens if she finds out? What happens when/if kids are involved? So much hurt building up in this lie. I am glad I never did that. The consequences are so dire that no one will leave unscathed.
The only way these situations are going to change is with acceptance. Once social stigma has been erased from being gay/lesbian can people be allowed to live as their authentic selves. I cannot help but feel that this world would be better without religion… It’s with these beliefs that people bend and twist themselves to fit some mold that no one will ever live up to. Let us not forget, the Ten Commandments state lying is a sin, but says nothing about being gay.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Reflection
So, here I stand poised on the precipice of a new year. Looking back at 2013 there was no particular milestone in my wishful career choices (aka writing, aka becoming an author) but the major things of note are: getting married to the man I’ve spent the last ten years of my life with; and going to a place I have dreamed of going to since I was a kid, London. Besides these major changes, my life was relatively stagnant for the majority of the year. These things didn’t even occur until November. So… At least I’m ending the year on a high note. Oh, and the other thing that was a major and wanted change was I finally broke my husband down, after years of discussion, to where he wants to adopt. Seriously… that’s big.
As per my usual M.O. I intend to dedicate this upcoming year to getting my book published. I feel optimistic about it because I’ve spent a lot of time mulling it around in my brain trying to make sure all the plot points and stories line up. I tricked my husband (can you tell I like saying that) into listening to the first chapter and give me any critiques he may have. It was truly helpful and brought about a different perspective. So I will make the necessary changes and move on to the rest of the story. Now if only I could get him to read the rest of it. But that’s more complicated than actually finishing-finishing the thing.
This Christmas my husband (there it is again!) got me a gift that I feel embodies this coming year. It is a watch. Now, it may seem like an ordinary object but for me it holds a lot of meaning, because sewn into the leather band is a tiny compass. For me it seems to say: it’s time to reach my destination. I’ve pussy-footed and dicked around when it comes to my novel long enough but it is at the point that it needs to be done.
So this years goals:
1 – Finish my novel
2 – Get an agent
3 – Lose 50 lbs.
4 – begin the adoption process.
By this time next year I’m hoping that things will be very different and that I myself will be unrecognizable.
As per my usual M.O. I intend to dedicate this upcoming year to getting my book published. I feel optimistic about it because I’ve spent a lot of time mulling it around in my brain trying to make sure all the plot points and stories line up. I tricked my husband (can you tell I like saying that) into listening to the first chapter and give me any critiques he may have. It was truly helpful and brought about a different perspective. So I will make the necessary changes and move on to the rest of the story. Now if only I could get him to read the rest of it. But that’s more complicated than actually finishing-finishing the thing.
This Christmas my husband (there it is again!) got me a gift that I feel embodies this coming year. It is a watch. Now, it may seem like an ordinary object but for me it holds a lot of meaning, because sewn into the leather band is a tiny compass. For me it seems to say: it’s time to reach my destination. I’ve pussy-footed and dicked around when it comes to my novel long enough but it is at the point that it needs to be done.
So this years goals:
1 – Finish my novel
2 – Get an agent
3 – Lose 50 lbs.
4 – begin the adoption process.
By this time next year I’m hoping that things will be very different and that I myself will be unrecognizable.
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