So again, I look like a failure. Well... not so much as look but am. I may have agreed to do a public wrimo but I have discovered I cannot. I took something I love to do, something I feel absolutely un-inhibited in doing, and made it the opposite of that. So, instead I will not being doing what I had promised. I just can't. Not now. And no only am I not going to wrimo publicly I'm also going to take a little hiatus from public posts in general. Maybe an odd tweet here and there but in general I need to take some space. I've gotten into a dark place inside my head and to top everything else off I have set bars for myself that not many people could rightly accomplish.
Then there is the fact that I've started querying my novel. Out of the 9 I sent only 5 have responded to me. Which is good. I just thought I would have had more by now. That was a little over a month ago that I began. Oh well. I will just assume they were no's. I have been tough skinned when it comes to the rejection or at least I thought I was. As it turns out I'm wondering if I'm instead storing my emotions in a box for later use or whenever it decides to manifest itself in my life. As you can tell, I am a very healthy person.
Anyway... I realize now that I have put to much pressure on myself to succeed in so many areas. I understand that agents would prefer you to have a platform already built but... I don't know when anyone can find time. Regardless, I am going to take some time away and focus on other things, other projects. Out of the attempted public wrimo I did come about with some really new and intriguing story ideas that I am interested to write out. So, this wasn't a complete failure.
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