Prompt 4 of 31

The Writer's Book of Matches pg.74 "If we have this conversation, it's going to end badly for you. Consider that a fair warning."

Start time: 12:23

"Believe me, Tristan, if we have this conversation, again, it's going to end badly for you. Consider that fair-"

"But, Jonathon," Tristan cut in, "I need some sort of hope or conclusion. I made an agreement with myself that I would decide, by the time I was thirty, whether or not I am going to have kids."

"We're gay, Trist, we can't have kids. We don't have the parts for that. Remember?"

"I understand that," Tristan said, he ran his fingers through his hair. "But there are other options. We could do surrogacy. Hell you could even have sex with a woman. I wouldn't care, as long as it resulted in a kid."

Jon looked at Tristan with disgusted disbelief.

"You must be out of your mind! I'm not going to do that. And let's just forget the fact that I physically couldn't, since my little general won't salute to the pussy platoon, I won't have a biological child. I won't."

"Why?" Tristan said, throwing his hands in the air. They landed on their white sofa with a muffled thud.

"HOw long have we been together, Trist?" He paused but not really for any sort of answer. "Twelve years. You know what my family is like. We have diabetes, schizophrenia, obesity, obsessive compulsive disorder, colon cancer. Why would I want to potentially pass on these fucked up genes to another living being? That's insane. It's a miracle I have dodged as many genetic bullets."

"The likelihood of that-"

"Is too much if even a chance that it could."

The two sat in silence. Their eyes locked in an invisible bond.

"Wanting kids as gay men is so selfish if it's biological."

Tristan opened his mouth to reply but didn't. His bottom jaw just hung slack.

"Think of it, Trist, there are so many kids in the system that have no one to love them. How callous, conceited, and cruel must you be to want to bring another life into this world when someone out there could use parents to love them. Anyone, to love them."

"But what about your family's troubles with adopted kids? Didn't Andrew try to burn down the house with everyone in it?"

"Try to, are you kidding. He tried once and succeeded the other."

"That's what I'm talking about!"

"That is an isolated incident."

Tristan rolled his eyes.

"Regardless it's still a risk."

Jon laughed and shook his head.

"Trist, that's a risk with any child. You know how mental illness runs in my family? What if our kid ends up schizophrenic? Or even if the kid is yours biologically, you yourself have a high risk of cancer and alcoholism. No one is immune. Us as gay men have to take into account so much more when it comes to having kids. It's not like a heterosexual couple that can bang and it results in a child. It just doesn't work that way for us. It just doesn't."

Tristan pressed his lips together and furrowed his brow.

"Trist, believe me I would love to see a little me running around. I would. But I would just feel guilty when I know there is probably a kid that wants so desperately to be loved that he would do anything. Most of the time that kid grows up and has other issues to contend with. Don't you want to save a kid? Wouldn't you want to look at our child and know that we took him in and gave him everything he could have ever wanted because we could do that. We may not be able to give them life, Tristan, but we can sure as hell give them love and a heightened chance at a successful life."

end time: 12:40