The thing is that my time has been spread over too many areas, none of which leave me time to edit. It is with this predicament that has made me really take a look at how I manage my time and analyze what is really important to me and my ultimate life goal.
Since I was young I've also wanted to be an actor and have been doing theatre for some time. I even did a student film once. The copy of which is laying somewhere in my house unwatched. And recently it has been theatre that has consumed a good chunk of my time. It's my own fault I wanted to do it. I thought that theatre was something I still wanted to do. It has been through my experience being stage manager for the show Trainspotting in LA that I have come to two very hard conclusions. The first is I will never be "discovered" while doing a show. It will be hitting the pavement, sending out my headshots and resumes, going to auditions. All the things I have no time for or the energy to do. I have a normal 8-5 job two hours away from Hollywood. So that isn't particularly realistic, especially since I refuse to move down there.
The second thing comes as a result of the other, I don't want to do theatre. It has been a hard decision to come to grips with but it's the right one. I want to be a writer. In the moments of silence, left to my thoughts, that is the one thing that comes to mind. And that isn't going to happen while doing theatre. So I am done.
My boyfriend has tried to tell me that it's just the drive that has put me off of theatre but in reality it's not. Even when I did a show here I was miserable. It's just not what I want to be doing at this time. As much as I do want to act it does not even come close to my desire to be a published author. So, it's time to pick my pony... And I choose "geddyup published."
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